Small Steps

Last night I was up late choosing hairstyles. Cause I decided a few day ago that one of the small steps I can take to discover my true identity is by having a haircut.

I have long hair, over my shoulders long and I shed a lot of it everywhere. It drives me nuts. All my laundry is always covered in my hair, it even ends up in my dinner sometimes. And don’t start about my shower drain! Yuk. It is always up in a bun, I brush it twice a day and that’s all I do with it. So I might as well cut it off.

In my teens and twenties I did loads of experimenting with my hair and look. I have had dreads, mohawks in all the colours of the rainbow, I had it completely shaven, so not a really big deal for me to do. But for everyone else around me it is always a shocker. I reckon that’s just a bonus. Lol!

Anyway, I made an appointment for tomorrow 12 o’clock. And I am going to take this photo with me as an example:

My new hairstyle

I will post before and after pics tomorrow, sadly I am not as pretty as this person in this picture but I’ll do my best to take a nice shot.

I am also thinking about taking a piercing. I discussed it with my 10 year old daughter but she thought it was awful 🙂 Not sure if I’m going to take any notice, we’ll see. I used to have a few piercings. I did one myself through my septum and I had two under my bottom lip. I tried lots of nostril piercings but they always got infected and never healed properly so I gave that up. And I have some ear piercings, but they are not even anything special.

Basically, my whole exterior is undergoing major scrutiny and a refurb. I am most days dressed in black, it’s my favourite colour. So that is already quite an androgynous look. But I do have female shapes in hips and bum so I struggle to find trousers or jeans in a male kind of way. I do have a major benefit; I am 6 feet tall (1.80m) and I have size 8-9 feet (EU42). It is extremely difficult to find typical female shoes in that size, and trousers is also a major issue, well, female trousers. Thank God I rather want to look like a male female, haha. I already bought a male denim jacket with wool lining. And I have lots of oversized t-shirts. But other than that, oh yes, I forgot my range of boots. I have Dr. Martens rigger boots, strangely they are in the female range but look very male. And I still have very good work boots which are definitely male, and all my high-viz work clothes which come in handy when I walk my dog Goliath this winter. But other than that, I either don’t fit some clothes or they are just not my style. So I definitely need some advice maybe.

What I wear nowadays is usually a pair of black leggings, and a long-sleeved shirt with a t-shirt over it. Or I have a few kind of dress-like tops. And a couple of oversized hoodies. It’s all very understated.

Anyways, that was me for today, I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.

Published by Gif-Art

Follow androgynous blogger, poet, artist, Criminology & Psychology scholar and revolutionary socialist Kahlo on their journey of self expression, transitioning and development. They write about Criminology & Psychology subjects in a socialist context, rehabilitation and recovery of childhood trauma, domestic and sexual abuse and the mental health conditions as a result. Woven through is a strong sense of social justice, accountability and self-determination.

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